Thursday, July 31, 2008

My visit to H4

First of all let me thank E for coming with me sa San Lazaro and spending almost his entire day with me going in different places of Manila and Makati area.

Yesterday I called E and told him that I am going to San Lazaro to get my meds (ARV) and make a follow up on my CD4 test that is scheduled on Aug. 14. Thursday is the scheduled day for all HIV/ AIDS wherein all the doctors there are present for consultation or if your going to ask for meds like in my case prescription for my ARV, if your feeling sick or feeling something you can consult them on that day. Thursday also serves as a small reunion or gathering for all HIV Positives or we call ourselves PUSIT. Sometimes some NGO go there and conduct lectures. On that day also most of the time you will see NEW and Younger Faces of an HIV carrier.

I asked E if he wants to go with me and without any hesitation E said yes. He texted me last night and asked a favor if I can give him a wake up call at around 6:30 AM and I replied Sure and then I slept.

I woke up at exactly 6:30 AM, I got my phone and made a call to E. I said it's 6:30 and he said yes he's already awake. Then I went to the shower and dress up. I left our house around 7:30 AM when I entered the South Expressway I texted E and told him that I already entered South Super Highway. Eventually I reached Alabang and we met at the Northgate of Filinvest.

He went inside my car and I politely introduced myself. Then while I was driving we talk about some stuff about my life, things that I do, being HIV positive almost everything under the sun. We also talked about his life and indeed it colorfull.

Eventually we arrived at San Lazaro Hospital I told him not to be afraid. That almost everyone who is inside that building is POSITIVE. We went down to my car and went to the lobby, I said Hi to some of my friends, acquaintances and to the nurses there. I told E to just seat in one of the chairs there while the nurse checks my Vital Signs (Weight: 67.7 Kilos, BP: 120/ 70 and Body Temp: Normal) . The nurse gave me my no. and it was No. 14 and the doctor is not starting yet. I said to myself GOOD LUCK TO ME! I sat beside E and we shared stories again I told him after this I'm going to a friend who's confined in San Lazaro also taking his ARV trial. Most of my friends there asked me, Sino yang kasama mo? (Whisperring) I told them Kaibigan ko! They will have a follow up question: Sigurado ka friend ha hindi boyfriend? I told them: Oo! If I'm on that building I feel different. I can do what I want, I can say what I want, I don't have to pretend that I'm straight and I'm not HIV Positive! On that building I can be ME! Pag nakikita ko ang ibat ibang klase ng tao sa San Lazaro especially sa H4 (This is the name of the building for HIV/ AIDS carrier) I have this mixed feeling. Thankful kasi God blessed me so much that I can afford to buy what I want and what I need unlike others na kailangang kailangan na nila pero wala sila magawa kasi wala silang pera. Kaya nga sabi ko sa sarili ko I will help these people in my own little way. Hindi man ako naka front pero there are alot of ways to help these people. Simula nung naging HIV positive ako I always think of ways on how to make the life of HIV/ AIDS carriers better. I mentioned to E that one of my plans is to have a nice, state of the art and fully equiped building that once you see that building sasabihin mo sa sarili mo: Sana may HIV na lang ako! I know it's kinda weird pero that's my vision. Wherein all people will undergo HIV testing because they know that if ever they are infected they are in good hands and even foreigners will come here in our country to seek help. I know it's a long shot but it's worth a try!

Going back, at last after a no. of hours it was my turn to meet my doctor. I greeted her and

Doctora said: Sino kasama mo? Boyfriend mo?
I replied to her: Doctora, kaibigan ko po sya. Nagma magandang loob lang po ako.
Doctora said: Asus! Carlo behave ka ha!
I replied again: Doc positive din po yata sya.
Doctora: Yata?
I said: Opo, di pa confirm kasi nagpa rapid test sya lumabas positive tapos for confirmatory na lumabas kahapon ELISA test nya POSITIVE daw ulit may isa pang test na hinihintay para lumabas na yung CERTIFICATE of ACCOMPLISHMENT na POSITIVE na siya.
Doctora: Aok, akala ko pa naman bf mo.
I said: Doc naman alam nyo naman ako mabait na bata!

Doctora told me that my CD4 scheduled for Aug.14 is cancelled since there is no reagent available and they still don't know when are they going to resume it. They will just advise me as soon as they have it already. I just asked doctora for prescription for my ARV so that I can get in in the pharmacy and she gladly gave it to me.

After that we went to my friend Duaine (He is the guy taking ARV trial). E and I visited him. I introduced E to Duaine. I saw the nurses assigned there and they are the same nursed assigned when I was confined last January sa we know each other I said Hi to them and asked how are they. The three of us sat at the lobby and shared stories, I asked how is he doing and where is his bf? He said that he's ok and that he's bf left because they fought again for the nth time.

Duaine is a nice person he was detected last year but unfortunatelly he didn't take it seriously that's why when he got the courage to get his CD4 test last month he was surprised that it was very low 112. This is low since the doctors are advising patients that once there cd4 went down to 350 they recommend to the patient to take ARV. That's why he is on ARV trial for 2 weeks and today was just his 3rd day. He thank us for visiting him. He said that he was so bored and that the only thing he does is to EMOTE about his life. I talked to him and gave him some inputs based on my experience and told him that it will agravate his condition if he will become depressed. I told him that he is not alone, that there are alot of people who takes care of him like his bf who inspite the fact that he knows that he is positive he still accepted him and loved him more. He smiled and said that I'm right.

Well there's a great feeling of accomplishment if you help other people even in small ways!


E, thanks again for coming with me!

Thursday, July 24, 2008


What is HIV?
HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is the virus that causes AIDS. This virus may be passed from one person to another when infected blood, semen, or vaginal secretions come in contact with an uninfected person’s broken skin or mucous membranes*. In addition, infected pregnant women can pass HIV to their baby during pregnancy or delivery, as well as through breast-feeding. People with HIV have what is called HIV infection. Some of these people will develop AIDS as a result of their HIV infection.
Where did HIV come from?
The earliest known case of HIV-1 in a human was from a blood sample collected in 1959 from a man in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo. (How he became infected is not known.) Genetic analysis of this blood sample suggested that HIV-1 may have stemmed from a single virus in the late 1940s or early 1950s.
We know that the virus has existed in the United States since at least the mid- to late 1970s. From 1979-1981 rare types of pneumonia, cancer, and other illnesses were being reported by doctors in Los Angeles and New York among a number of male patients who had sex with other men. These were conditions not usually found in people with healthy immune systems.
In 1982 public health officials began to use the term "acquired immunodeficiency syndrome," or AIDS, to describe the occurrences of opportunistic infections, Kaposi's sarcoma (a kind of cancer), and Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia in previously healthy people. Formal tracking (surveillance) of AIDS cases began that year in the United States.
In 1983, scientists discovered the virus that causes AIDS. The virus was at first named HTLV-III/LAV (human T-cell lymphotropic virus-type III/lymphadenopathy- associated virus) by an international scientific committee. This name was later changed to HIV (human immunodeficiency virus).
For many years scientists theorized as to the origins of HIV and how it appeared in the human population, most believing that HIV originated in other primates. Then in 1999, an international team of researchers reported that they had discovered the origins of HIV-1, the predominant strain of HIV in the developed world. A subspecies of chimpanzees native to west equatorial Africa had been identified as the original source of the virus. The researchers believe that HIV-1 was introduced into the human population when hunters became exposed to infected blood.
What is AIDS?
AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome.
Acquired – means that the disease is not hereditary but develops after birth from contact with a disease causing agent (in this case, HIV).
Immunodeficiency – means that the disease is characterized by a weakening of the immune system.
Syndrome – refers to a group of symptoms that collectively indicate or characterize a disease. In the case of AIDS this can include the development of certain infections and/or cancers, as well as a decrease in the number of certain cells in a person’s immune system.
A diagnosis of AIDS is made by a physician using specific clinical or laboratory standards.
What causes AIDS?
AIDS is caused by infection with a virus called human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). This virus is passed from one person to another through blood-to-blood and sexual contact. In addition, infected pregnant women can pass HIV to their babies during pregnancy or delivery, as well as through breast feeding. People with HIV have what is called HIV infection. Some of these people will develop AIDS as a result of their HIV infection.
How does HIV cause AIDS?
HIV destroys a certain kind of blood cell (CD4+ T cells) which is crucial to the normal function of the human immune system. In fact, loss of these cells in people with HIV is an extremely powerful predictor of the development of AIDS. Studies of thousands of people have revealed that most people infected with HIV carry the virus for years before enough damage is done to the immune system for AIDS to develop. However, sensitive tests have shown a strong connection between the amount of HIV in the blood and the decline in CD4+ T cells and the development of AIDS. Reducing the amount of virus in the body with anti-retroviral therapies can dramatically slow the destruction of a person’s immune system.
How long does it take for HIV to cause AIDS?
Prior to 1996, scientists estimated that about half the people with HIV would develop AIDS within 10 years after becoming infected. This time varied greatly from person to person and depended on many factors, including a person's health status and their health-related behaviors.
Since 1996, the introduction of powerful anti-retroviral therapies has dramatically changed the progression time between HIV infection and the development of AIDS. There are also other medical treatments that can prevent or cure some of the illnesses associated with AIDS, though the treatments do not cure AIDS itself. Because of these advances in drug therapies and other medical treatments, estimates of how many people will develop AIDS and how soon are being recalculated, revised, or are currently under study.
As with other diseases, early detection of infection allows for more options for treatment and preventative health care.
How well does HIV survive outside the body?
Scientists and medical authorities agree that HIV does not survive well outside the body, making the possibility of environmental transmission remote. HIV is found in varying concentrations or amounts in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, saliva, and tears. To obtain data on the survival of HIV, laboratory studies have required the use of artificially high concentrations of laboratory-grown virus. Although these unnatural concentrations of HIV can be kept alive for days or even weeks under precisely controlled and limited laboratory conditions, CDC studies have shown that drying of even these high concentrations of HIV reduces the amount of infectious virus by 90 to 99 percent within several hours. Since the HIV concentrations used in laboratory studies are much higher than those actually found in blood or other specimens, drying of HIV-infected human blood or other body fluids reduces the theoretical risk of environmental transmission to that which has been observed - essentially zero. Incorrect interpretations of conclusions drawn from laboratory studies have in some instances caused unnecessary alarm.
Results from laboratory studies should not be used to assess specific personal risk of infection because (1) the amount of virus studied is not found in human specimens or elsewhere in nature, and (2) no one has been identified as infected with HIV due to contact with an environmental surface. Additionally, HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.
How can I tell if I'm infected with HIV? What are the symptoms?
The only way to know if you are infected is to be tested for HIV infection. You cannot rely on symptoms to know whether or not you are infected. Many people who are infected with HIV do not have any symptoms at all for 10 years or more.
The following may be warning signs of advanced HIV infection:
*rapid weight loss
*dry cough
*recurring fever or profuse night sweats
*profound and unexplained fatigue
*swollen lymph glands in the armpits, groin, or neck
*diarrhea that lasts for more than a week
*white spots or unusual blemishes on the tongue, in the mouth, or in the throat
*red, brown, pink, or purplish blotches on or under the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids
*memory loss, depression, and other neurological disorders
However, no one should assume they are infected if they have any of these symptoms. Each of these symptoms can be related to other illnesses. Again, the only way to determine whether you are infected is to be tested for HIV infection.

Letter from a reader.. Thank You!

I received this letter from my email. To you my "friend" allow me to share your letter to me. While I was reading this letter the song "Moon River" was playing and I got emotional. Hehehehe. Well I think it's ok atleast I know I'm still a human being. Thank you for sending me this letter and YES it made me smile!
Before I start this long long way way long letter, I hope that it wouldn’t take a lot of your busy time in reading it. My morning ritual is always browsing the blog of Misterhubs (it’s just like a newspaper or a coffee, you can’t live without savoring its essence) then I stumble to the blog of Chronicles E (and even though I don’t know the guy, I’m happy for him that he has found the light in recovering his life back) and then I came across to your blog. After reading your story, I have been touched with your blog. I salute not only on your courage but also on your perseverance to inform and to teach people about your experiences. You have a GOOD HEART and a GOOD DEED and there are a few people in the world who are like you or who have at least the courage to tell the people about their own experiences.

After reading your blog, it boosted my courage to take a test (the last time that I have my test is May 2007 which is negative). Though I had only a sexual relationship with my partner for one and a half year, I just want to be tested. Your blog has immensely inspired me (… and made me so emotional while working here in the office). I remember a few years ago (in my late teens), I have to go to a government hospital to be tested and I remember the enormous emotion of BEING SCARED. I don’t know how the world would react if they see a glimpse of the secret of a young discreet bisexual guy and/or if I would be HIV +. I was SCARED TO DEATH because my identity would be revealed. After going to the test and waiting it for a week, the test was negative (I went every 6 month for 2 years and I was negative, it was the time where as a young person, you do experiment out of the society’s norm).. I’ve remember while waiting in a room for my results, there were people who were HIV + … I didn’t know how to react, what to say or what to do… but as time would pass by, these people are the STRONGEST and the WISEST People that I’ve met in my life and they do take life in to a higher horizon. I’ve learned from them that (1) even if your not doing anal sex (which I’m not a fan of) you can still contract it (2) that you learn to pick up the pieces and see that there is life after being HIV + and (3) that people who are HIV + are not scary after all in fact they’re the people like what I said earlier who are the strongest and wisest people on Earth.. I got to chat with one of the patient in the room ( even though I was just a kid at that time) and I learn this thing….

“Life is a matter of perspective.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths that you take
But it is measured by the number of moments that take your breathe away”

I know that this quote is easier to be said than done but time will slowly teach the answer to its complexity and the secret it holds on life. I hope that each moment that you do in your life and that each moment that you help other people would not only give you happiness but it would provide you fulfillment. I pray for your everyday well-being and I do support for you GOOD CAUSE. Take care and bro, no matter what people may say about you, IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU LESS THAN A MAN. You are one great person that the society needs right now and that people would appreciate and would be happy to know. Once again take care and Godbless….................................................................................................And I hope that this long long long long super long letter made you smile =)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

FREE HIV Test using Rapid Test

What: FREE HIV Test using Rapid Test (This is the test kit that I was telling you guys!)
(NOTE: reading of results take 10 minutes after actual blood sample extraction, procedure is the same as blood sugar monitoring for Diabetic clients)

Who: Everyone is welcome for Testing, underage/minor must secure parental consent according to R.A. 8504 or must comply with the requirements of the law for testing

When: July 22, 2008 and onwards until supply last

Total Targets: 15,000 Clients based on the 15,000 HIV Test KITS available

Where: Social Hygiene Clinic - Manila Health Department, 2nd Floor of 208 Quiricada Street, Sta. Cruz, Manila(green building across the main gate of San Lazaro Hospital, between LRT Bambang and LRT Tayuman Station)

GROUP TESTING: Group Testing is possible by making arrangements with Ms. Malou Tan for venue and date. However, venue should be within the City of Manila.

Contact Details: For inquiries, call 711-6942 and look for Dra. Diana Mendoza or Ms. Malou Tan, Monday to Friday only from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

The Social Hygiene Clinic of the Manila Health Department is offering fast and reliable HIV Test FREE for all using the RAPID Test Kit.A total number of 15,000 HIV RAPID Test Kits worth 5 million pesos were donated and delivered last July 18 to the Manila Health Department. The kits were donated by the good people of South Korea namely Mr. Cho Yoon Soo, the President of Good People International Philippines, Rev. Dr. Jeon Dae Gu and Mayor Ahn Sang Soo of Inceon Metropolitan City.These kits are set to target the general population, especially those who have or had risky behaviors that could lead to HIV Infection.


Thanks to my friend Dying Young for continously helping and pushing the welfare of people with HIV/ AIDS.

Monday, July 21, 2008

CD4 test

The first test that I undergone was the CD4 test.
How is it used?

The CD4 count tells your doctor how strong your immune system is, how far HIV disease has advanced (the stage of the disease), and helps predict the risk of complications and debilitating infections. The CD4 count is most useful when it is compared with the count obtained from an earlier test.
The CD4 count is used in combination with the viral load test, which measures the level of HIV in the blood, to determine the staging and outlook of the disease.
The CD4 count is also used to identify possible health problems for which you may be at risk and to determine which medications might be helpful.
When is it ordered?

A CD4 count and a viral load test are ordered when a person is first diagnosed with HIV as part of a baseline measurement. Both tests should be repeated about two to eight weeks after starting or changing anti-HIV therapy. If treatment is maintained, a CD4 count should be performed every three to six months thereafter.
So nagpa CD4 test na nga ako sa San Lazaro and actually sa mga cases palang ganito napa pakinabangan natin ang foreign grants. May mga grants pala sa Philippines para mabigyan ng libreng CD4 test ang mga confirmed HIV Positives. Although we are in the middle class I opted to avail that free test because kung magiging paying patient ako it will cost 8,000 pesos CD4 pa lang yon and wala ring difference kung paying ka kasi pareho pa rin naman doctor mo and pareho pa rin ang building na pupuntahan mo. Viral Load is not yet free here in the Philippines CD4 pa lang sana maging free na rin sya.
When I got the the result of my first CD4 test it was 504. This means that I am still ok and sabi ni doc hindi ko pa daw kailangan mag take ng ARV.
What does the test result mean?
Normal CD4 counts in adults range from 500 to 1,500 cells per cubic millimeter of blood.
In general, the CD4 count goes down as HIV disease progresses. Any single CD4 count value may differ from the last one even though your health status has not changed. You should not place too much importance on any one result. What is more important than any single value is the pattern of CD4 counts over time.
If your CD4 count declines over several months, your doctor may recommend beginning or changing anti-HIV treatment and/or starting preventive treatment for opportunistic infections like Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia (PCP). Your CD4 count should increase or stabilize in response to effective combination anti-HIV therapy.
According to public health guidelines, preventive therapy should be started when an HIV-positive person who has no symptoms registers a CD4 count under 200. Some physicians will opt to consider treatment earlier, at 350. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention considers HIV-infected persons who have CD4 counts below 200 to have AIDS, regardless of whether they are sick or well.
What is ARV medication?

This combination of drugs reduce the number of HIV viruses in the body. By doing this the immune system can be strengthened and restored. Once your CD4 count drops below 200 your doctor will start you on ARV treatment.
So I went on with my life. I work hard with my business, gimick here and there and occassionally thinking about my health. After 8 months my doctor scheduled me again for CD4 test. It was November of 2007 when I undergone my second CD4 test. Because of my busy schedule I wasn't able to visit my doctor. One day she called me and informed me that she needs to talk to me. I know dahil ito sa CD4 ko. I asked her, " Doc ano na ba CD4 ko, mataas pa rin ba? She said: "Let's just talk about it when you get here!" The next day I rushed to the hospital to talked to her.
Doc: Here's the result of your CD4 test.
She showed me the result of my CD4 from 504 it went down to 360. In a matter of 9 months my CD4 decreased by 144. My doctor said that my CD4 is decreasing and she is suggesting for me to take ARV already the soonest possible time. She explained to me that once i get to this regimen it will be forever. My doctor said that in order for me to start my ARV medication I should be confined in the hospital for a minimum of 2 weeks. So that they can monitor the effects or side effects of the meds that will be given to me. I asked my doctor if ever were will I be confined for 2 weeks? She said here in the ward. All the patients here has HIV/ AIDS and undergoing treatment. I don't know how will I feel that time. I checked the room is a ward for heaven sake and if you see some of the patients there, they're like dying. I told my doctor is there any private and airconditioned room I'm willing to pay. She said there is but the risk of your identity getting out is big. I said to my doctor: okay then, if ever I agree to start my ARV it will be on January because I'll be very busy this coming December. She said it's ok, but I should remember the earlier the better. So she scheduled me to be confined in San Lazaro 3 days after New Year. Can you imagine A year after I was diagnosed I have HIV, now there's a new chapter I have to take ARV if not I will die earlier.
After that conversation my doctor asked me to tell my parents that I need someone to accompany me during my 2 weeks confinement in the hospital so that someone will attend to my needs since it's a government hospital almost everything is lacking. I told my parent's about it and we decided to tell my 5th sibling about my condition he cried when he found out about it and eventually accepted it. I told my business associates that I will be on vacation for 2 weeks so that they will not ask any more questions about my whereabouts.
January 3, 2008 came, both my parents and my brother went with me in San Lazaro. When we arrived my doctor facilitated my admission and told me to prepare. She introduced me to my batchmates who will also undergo ARV medication. I was snobish on my first day. I was only talking to my brother. I don't eat the food ration. I always asked my brother to buy our food in the restaurant like pizza hut, greenwich, chowking and others. Eventually 2 weeks is kinda long and I became close with the other patients there btw, most of the patiets there are also gay. Me and my other batchmates who was starting to take ARV are getting closer day by day. I think my brother and my parents already knew about me by this time. We just don't want to talk about it di ba? I finished the 2 weeks without any rashes or side effects in my body.
Next month I'm scheduled again for CD4 test, to find out if the ARV medication that I am taking is effective and working in my immune system. I'm still crossing my fingers and I am hoping that I am getting better. Because I feel better! A lot of people are noticing that I am gaining weight, getting a lighter complexion and looking better. Which I hope is a good sign. I hope next month when I got the result of my 3rd CD4 test I will be happy to announce that it is over 500 again.
Don't worry if there are any updates with regards to my health or to about HIV/ AIDS here in the Philippines I will post here right away. This is my new goal in life to help others with the same disease and to educate other people about the effects of the new ticking time bomb which we calle HIV/ AIDS. The governement just don't have time to look into it because we have alot of problems but I think HIV is getting worst every second and every minute of the day.
If you have any questions about me or about HIV please feel free to email me at I will be happy to answer all your querries. Thanks!

I have HIV!!!

Hi guys! I just wanna share my experience about what happened to me last year January 2007! Kapa pasok pa lang ng 2007 when one of my fuck buddy who was a med tech asked me if I already got tested for HIV? Sabi ko bakit eh imposible ako magka meron nun since mga addict at feeling ko mga parloristang gay ang mga magka ameron nun and not me. Sabi nya basta magpa test ka. He convinced me to get tested sabagay active talaga sex life ko. Never pa kasi ako nagpa test ng blood ko di pa naman kasi ako nagka kasakit so why bother?! So I went to the hospital kung saan sya nagwo work and asked him to extract my blood sabi ko pa nga sa kanya itest mo na gusto mo i-test para isang kuhanan na lang di kasi ako sanay sa turok. He told he's co-workers that I was his cousin (syempre baka mahalata kami were both very discreet pa naman). So on that afternoon my med tech friend caled me up and said he wanted to talk to me about something. Sabi ko sige, kung ano ano na pumasok sa utak ko that time medyo natakot ako. Sabi ko baka nakita nila yung STD ko before o baka bumalik na naman yun. Nag se-self medication lang kasi ako pag nagka ka std ako. So that afternoon I fetch him and while I was driving I asked him.
Hivpos27: Kamusta yung test ko?
Med Tech Guy: Ok naman, mataas lang ang uric acid mo but everything seems to be normal.
Hivpos27: That's good! Kinabahan naman ako sayo, kala ko kung ano na.
Med Tech Guy: Tara punta tayo simbahan.
Hivpos27: Huh? Bakit?
Med Tech Guy: Basta samahan mo muna ako.
We went to a church and then I parked. He didn't go down, instead he cried. Then he delivered the BIG NEWS, he said he tried testing my blood for HIV and it came out POSITIVE! Hindi ko alam kung ano magiging reaction ko sabi ko baka nagbibiro ka lang. Sabi nya hindi, sabi ko paano ka naka kasigurado? Pinakita nya sa akin yung test kit na nag positive at that time medyo ng lalamig na ako. I asked him sino naka kaalam about this? Sabi niya wala, he tested it secretly. He got another test kit sabi nya baka nagka mali lang yung test kit ulit daw nya. He prick my finger and put some blood on a small paper strip we waited for a couple of minutes that's for me the most agonizing and longest waiting in my life, and again it came out POSITIVE. I can't believe it! Sa laha lahat ng tao ako pa nagka meron wala naman ako naka sex na foreigner lahat sila pinoy. Sino sa kanila? Hindi ko matandaan, hindi ko alam kung kanino ko nakuha. Sabi niya samahan daw nya ako sa San Lazaro kasi dumuty din sya dun. Doon daw dinadala ang mga gusto at for confimatory test ng HIV.Hindi ko alam gagawin ko, umiiyak siya kasi I fucked him sabi ko sa kanya don't worry we use condom naman di ba? Sabi nya kahit na may chance pa rin na mahawa ako sayo. I also felt gulty baka nga nahawahan ko sya if ever na talagang HIV positive ako. I was demoralized that moment. That night when I arrived home it was late and my parents were already sleeping but I still went straight to my their room and talked to them and told them what my med tech "friend" found out.
Hivpos27: Dad Mom may sakit yata ako? (I was starting to cry)
Parents: Ano? Bakit?
Hivpos27: Kasi nagpa kuha ako ng test sa kaibigan ko?
Parents: At ano, nakita? (They are getting very worried at this time)
Hivpos27: Kasi tinest ng kaibigan ko ang blood ko for HIV and nag positive to.
Parents: Ha! Paano, Bakit, Saan mo nakuha? (They started crying)
Hivpos27: Hindi ko alam kung saan ko nakuha?
Parents: Yan ang sinasabi namin sayo binigyan ka namin ng kalayaan, tingnan mo kung san ka ngayon. Baka mali yang test na yan magpa patest tayo sa iba.
Hivpos27: Dad Mom ayaw ko pa mamatay.
Parents: Anak, hindi ka mamatay. Hindi pa naman confirmed yan hahanap tayo nga gamot.
Hivpos27: Dad Mom sorry sa lahat ng nagawa ko sa inyo. Always remember na mahal na mahal ko po kayo. Wag nyo po sana ako pababayaan.
Parents: Mahal na mahal ka rin namin tandaan mo yan at hinding hindi ka namin pababayaan.
(My parents know that I'm straight but that's all a lie, I am a bi guy. I go for girls and I go for guys) I told them I don't know kung san ko nakuha. Kasi alam nila srtaight ako, they don't know na most na nakakasex ko is same sex. We all cried that night, I asked forgiveness to them and nagpa aalam na rin ako kung baga huling habilin coz I thought I'm going to die anytime soon. My parents was in a state of shock sino ba hindi kung ide-deliver mo ang news na yon? They told me that we will find a cure and they will be there by my side to help me get through this test.
The next monday my dad and I went to San Lazro Hospital. I met this kind doctor and she talked o me first before undergoing the HIV test as part of their SOP (counselling) then they told me to pay 400 and then they extracted my blood they told me to go back after 2 weeks for the result. Eactly after 2 weeks my dad and I went back but the doctor said hindi pa daw lumalabas ang reult. Kinabahan na ko coz sabi ni doc once na naging positive ka they will run another test to confirm the first result and I think ganun na nga ang nangyari. After a week my dad and I went back for the result and eto.
Doctor: Ano plano mo kung halimbawa negative yan?
Hivpos27: Sabi ko life goes on pero syempre babaguhin ko na yung lifestyle ko, I will use contraception na.
Doctor: Pano naman kung positive?
Hivpos27: Sabi ko wala na tayo magagawa nandyan na yan kailangan ko na lang maki pag cooperate kung pano mapa pahaba ang buhay ko kasi bata pa ako and I'm the only one working for my family, madami pa ako pangarap. Pero definitely diko papaalam sa iba kasi medyo kilala kami at sigurado mase sentationalize ang family ko and I don't want that to happen.
The doctor gave me the letter and I opened it. Hindi ko nga maintindihan kasi puro medical test nakita ko na lang my seropositive or reactive.
Hivpos27: Doc ano ba big sabihin ng mga to, san ko maki kita kung POSITIVE ako or NEGATIVE?"
Kinuha ni doc ang letter at binasa.
Doctor: This means your POSTIVE!
Hindi na ko naka pag salita pero tanggap ko na, hindi totally pero nag sinkin na sa akin since 3 weeks na nung unang nareceive ko ang same news with the med tech guy. I asked the doctor kung ano kelangan ko gawin. She gave me instructions. I made an alias para yun yung magiging name ko at itatawag nila sa akin doon. My real name will not be revealed kahit na ano mangyari not unless magkaroon ng court order sa kanila. My bill na kasi na napasa sa congress about the right of HIV/ AIDS patients. I also got my own code eto yung magiging ID no. ko sa profile ng DOH or Department of Health, that file with my code on it will contain all the medical test result, sickness and visits that I will make in San Lazaro. After that day, I went to San Lazaro and undergone several test para malaman kung may iba pa ba akong sakit that may affect my health and to check kung gano na kalala ang HIV ko. Although I'm feeling ok I'm still thinkind kung kanino ko nakuha yung virus. Yes, ngayon ako nagsisisi kung bakit di ako gumagamit ng condom before. (Wala namang nagsisi sa una di ba? Lagi sa huli ang pagsisisi sabi nga nila.) Oo nga masarap ang walang condom pero tingnan mo naman na pala ko habang buhay ko pagsi sisihan to. I already met some people na may HIV they're very friendly and accomodating they want me to join they're organization, yes it's not bad pero in my case I just want to be alone baka mamaya may maka kilala pa sa akin mahirap na. Right now siguro pag nakita nyo ako di nyo aakalain na may HIV ako. Sabi nga d mo malalaman kung sino ang infected base on the physical aspect lang. Kaya guys payo ko sa inyo if your going to have sex use condom! Get tested wala naman mawawala kung mag pa patest kayo di ba? Atleast kung may makita man magagamot agad hindi pa huli ang lahat. Ako kasi walang paki alam noon sabi ko sa sarili ko imposible magka meron ako ng HIV pero eto POSITIVE ako! Kaya guys! USE CONDOM & GET TESTED!
P.S.Did you know that an average of 30 people are getting reported to be infected by HIV every month?! Ganun na sya kalala ngayon!